I adore words. The English language is full of the most fabulously beautiful, as well as the most outrageously ugly, words. Words such as “myriad”, “languorous” and “lascivious”, “lewd”, “obscene” and “vomit” are just some of the beautiful and ugly words we have at our disposal.
I am also especially fond of coming across new words. A new word, together with its previously unknown meaning, is, to me, a bonus to what may already be a wonderful day (of course, if it is not, then it merely affords a ray of sunshine through the clouds). A word that I have recently come across (this very afternoon in fact) is “paraprosdokian”. A Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising, or unexpected, and causes the reader or the listener to re-interpret the former part. To demonstrate, here are a few humorous, dramatic, and anti-climactic examples.
© The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list.
© I would like to agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
© War does not determine who is right – merely who is left.
© We never really grow up; we just learn how to behave in public.
© What is the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is refraining from putting it in a fruit salad.
© Dolphins are so smart that within a few short weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand right at the edge of the pool and throw fish to them.
© How come it takes just one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole bloody box to start a camp fire?
© You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
© I have discovered something about myself. I scream the same way whether I think I may about to be devoured by a shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
© I always take life with a pinch of salt – plus a wedge of lime and a shot of tequila.
© To be certain of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever it is you hit the target.
Here endeth the lesson. Now go and have a glass of wine to celebrate a lovely day when you learned something new. Or if you already knew what a paraprosdokian was, have a glass of wine anyway for being so erudite (another beautiful word).
